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I will sell you the scales off my back if you can get me that totally hot blonde which Mr. ersatz Johnny Weismuller stoled from me. She was mine fair and square, dammit. And she felt sorry for me. I don't know if you realize how far that goes when youre trying to hook up, but lemme' tellya' -  it sure don't hurt.

Honestly, the thought of that guy with my girlfriend makes my teeth rattle. Not that I wouldn't want to give him some rattling teeth of his own. I seriously think if I see that dude again, I'm gonna' sucker punch him.